I got pregnant when my husband and I were nearly $300,000 in debt.
Although it sounds crazy, I did it on purpose (both accumulating debt and getting pregnant that is.)
I wish I could say I had a super fancy Bentley parked in my driveway to have something to show for that high number, but really it’s all in our brains (which have lately been fried due to intense sleep deprivation.) To clarify, what I mean to say is all of our debt is student loan debt.
Sometimes people will say that education debt is “good debt,” and if that’s the case then we have really, really good debt. Our $300,000 student loan debt includes two master’s degrees – one for each of us – and three years of my husband’s medical school tuition. Unfortunately for us, we’ll probably be tacking on another $50,000 to it before he graduates from medical school in 2016, bringing the total number up to $350,000 and possibly even $400,000 since it’s actively accruing interest (fun right?)
Of course, my husband and I don’t actually believe that student loan debt is good debt. For most people, student loan debt cannot be discharged in bankruptcy (although according to U.S. News, in rare cases it actually can.) So, that means most people will have to pay back every penny of their student loans even if they encounter significant hardships. Basically, not only is our $300,000 of student loan debt burdensome, it’s downright scary.
Yet, being in debt didn’t stop me from actively trying to get pregnant, and it shouldn’t stop you if you have the three traits below.
1. Financial Discipline
Even if you have significant debt, I believe it’s fine to make big life choices like buying a house or having a child as long as you have financial discipline. You need to be the type of person who is acutely aware of their debt, not someone who is too scared to look at the number. If you can face your debt head on and have the ability to stick to a detailed financial plan, you can definitely make room for some of life’s biggest changes liking bringing adorable, stinky babies into the world.
Financially disciplined people track spending, create budgets, understand their cash flow, and do not live paycheck to paycheck. Their student loan payments are just another line on their budget that they carefully pay attention to and try to tackle each and every month.
For some people, like Kirsten at Indebted Mom, biology plays a factor into the decision to have children as well. Although Kirsten has significant student loan debt like I do, she was not willing to risk the possibility of not being able to have children due to her age. “It would have been nice to pay off debt first, but if we’d waited to pay off all our student loans, I probably wouldn’t have been able to have children,” says Kirsten. In order to tackle her high student debt, Kirsten remains employed as an aerospace engineer and makes extra money on the side through online writing jobs.
2. Extreme Hustle
When my husband and I decided we wanted to start our family, we knew that we needed to create a large savings account for our baby. Between hospital costs, baby gear, and other necessities, we knew babies were expensive. Thinking of a worst case scenario where would have to reach our $4,000 out of pocket max for our health insurance policy, we decided to save $10,000, which would hopefully leave some money left over to start a college fund.
Of course, with my husband being a student, the only real way to create $10,000 out of thin air was for me to hustle. I was already bringing in extra money from online writing jobs, but I decided to double my efforts. I took on new clients, e-mailed people tirelessly asking if they had work, and spent many, many nights staying up until one or two o’clock in the morning doing extra work. Every time I got a PayPal deposit from one of my new clients, I moved it right over to my Smarty Pig high yield savings account for our future baby.
Of course, the joke was on us. I got pregnant just a few months later, and much to our surprise, we found out we were having twins. We used every penny of that $10,000 savings since both of our children spent time in the NICU. I was so glad I had that savings account; otherwise, we would probably be in credit card debt right now too.
Of course, if you are in debt, there is the obvious option to wait to have children or not have children at all. Many people, like Kali Hawlk of Common Sense Millennial, decided not to have children, saving them hundreds of thousands of dollars in child rearing expenses over the course of two decades. This is certainly something to consider if you are in significant debt and are not equipped with the income or the tools to successfully handle paying off your debt and raising children at the same time.
Kali explains that, “If you can’t take care of yourself financially, you aren’t prepared to adequately provide what a child deserves,” and I agree with her. Children don’t need every toy or baby gadget on the Earth to be happy, but they do need basic necessities like food and a roof over their heads, monthly bills that can come into jeopardy if you are unable to make regular payments on your debt.
3. Ability to Handle Adversity
As anyone will tell you when he or she is dealing with large amounts of debt, there’s no such thing as a nice, linear payoff schedule. Life happens, things come up, and often you have to make hard decisions about just how much debt you want to pay off each and every month.
For us, the biggest shock of course was finding out we were having two babies, not one. To me, at 26 years old, I felt like I could handle one baby. I felt like my income, the funds I saved, and my general life experience meant I could be a good mother to one baby. However, the day I found out there were two, I spent an hour sobbing in the shower that night. Simply put, I was terrified. I was scared of everything like losing one or both of them since the pregnancy automatically became high risk. I was also worried how I was going to afford both of them with my husband still in school, and of course, I had tons of vain thoughts about how my small frame was going to carry two kids as long as possible throughout the pregnancy.
But, like all the other times in my life when I handled unexpected events, I pulled myself together and continued to work on a plan. I knew that if I could just work a little bit harder, not only could I be self-employed but I could also cut out the significant childcare expenses that two children bring by staying home with them myself.
That, of course, is exactly what I did. My boy/girl twins are 7 months old now, and I have been self-employed for almost a year. It hasn’t been without its difficult moments, that’s for sure, but because of hard work, financial discipline, and planning, we’re still on track to pay down our debt and ensure our children have everything they need to grow up happily and healthily.
You Have Nine Months to Prepare
If you are in debt and pregnant, there’s nothing stopping you from using this time to get your finances organized and develop a plan. The best thing you can do is, of course, reduce your expenses and raise your income. Trust me, I know it’s challenging to ask for a raise or take on extra work when you’re hugely pregnant, exhausted, and have to pee all the time. I’ve been there. But, your children are worth it. Their safety and security is worth it.
Essentially, if I can do it, you can do it. Take the steps now to work on developing the three qualities I mentioned above: discipline, hustle, and handling adversity. Luckily for you, children bring immense joy and happiness, and you’ll find having them is the best decision you’ve ever made – with or without your debt.
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